He kissed a someone with a penis
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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