she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize