so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
