Yo dont text me then not text me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
