So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
