When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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