We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
