he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
