weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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