marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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