it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
