Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
