just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
