his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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