My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
