Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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