He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Enjoy the penises
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
