I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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