are you so shy because you have an std?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
