dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
