The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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