last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
