Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
