Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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