that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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