That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize