oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
