I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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