I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Green mimosas i think yes
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
