you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
