I wish my penis had an off switch
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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