Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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