I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
