when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
