i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
