Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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