hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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