How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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