the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
