They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I FOUND THE LEGS
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
