sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
