and she was petting her beer can
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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