Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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