I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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