sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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