It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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