i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
