he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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