But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
