YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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