Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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