Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
