Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
