That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
