Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
