your thong is hanging out like whoa
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
