I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
