I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
