Sober January is a disaster.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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