Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
