Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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