Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
