So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
