idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
