in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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